A teeshirt for my Dad and a tribute from/for me

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At the end of January my Dad became suddenly critically ill with a list of serious problems as long as my arm. While I anxiously waited for my last-minute transatlantic flight to leave to go over and visit, I needed something to keep my hands busy, so I decided to make him a teeshirt.

I had recently bought some cotton jersey from Girl Charlee UK (who’ve since closed down) in his favourite shade of “Penn State blue” and I used this in conjunction with the Men’s teeshirt from the Great British Sewing Bee Fashion with Fabric book, size Medium. (Coincidentally, I actually made the “perfect” modelled in the book!)

My mom said he always prefers to have two chest pockets on his teeshirts, so that’s what I added here (this is why we sew, right??)

I knew I couldn’t just leave the teeshirt as-is, so I made a design in white heat set vinyl, cut on my Silhouette machine (dragged out of storage for the first time in a year especially!).

When he lived in Pennsylvania, our house was near the Appalachian Trail and one year he wrote a book compiling all sorts of trail stories, which earned him the honourary Trail Name of “Sedentary Steve”!

And on the back, well, he was always the absolute BEST at buying cards for each person and one year he bought me a birthday card with a badge attached that read “I’ve survived damned near everything!” and I’ve taken that on as a badge of honour. Considering that in the past year he’d survived multiple strokes, a severe C Dificil infection, multiple organ failure, and I could literally list on a lot more, I felt that he also deserved to wear this statement with pride. And he did.

I kept this post half-written after I returned home in February, waiting for a photo of him wearing it to finish off the post. But it was never meant to be. He returned home for a few months and my mom said he wore the shirt often, but she never quite got to take a photo of him wearing it.

He declined rapidly again at the end of May, however, and for the fourth time in a year we were told by Doctors that he wouldn’t make it through the night. This time it was impossible for me to fly over due to restrictions around the pandemic and my own health risk, even though my Dad consistently tested negative for Covid-19.

He eventually passed away over two weeks after a hospital doctor said he had “a few days” left, and four days after a hospice nurse said he had “48 hours, max” left. He was an incredible character, stubborn to the end, and fully aware of everything around him even though he struggled to speak for the past few weeks. He still smiled every time I video-called and was still able to laugh at all our funny stories and dirty jokes, and, even though it was a struggle, tell me he loved me.

The day my mom called to say he had died, I had just finished sewing a project and knew what I had to do to honour him in my own way. I pulled the scant metre of fabric leftover from his teeshirt, and cut myself another MadeIt Patterns Rest Vest (more on this in another post very soon – sorry, I’m posting out of order here).

I sewed it up in an hour or two, then added a custom memorial on my Silhouette machine using the same white heat set vinyl to add to the inside, as a private memorial just for me.

His name was Steve but I called him Dad
“His name was Steve but I called him Dad”

I miss you already, Dad.

26 Comments

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  1. 1
    Sandy

    Beautiful tribute! I miss him too. I haven’t found the shirt yet, but I suspect, and hope, it’s in the bag of clothes his aide pulled for him to wear in rehab And I told her to include this shirt, but he was only there for 24 hours. I’m determined to FIND it among his clothes.

  2. 2
    Phillippa Sharpe

    I’m so sorry to hear about your Dad. It’s a gorgeous private tribute (and a lovely vest). Thanks for sharing. Take care of yourself.

  3. 3
    djaktief

    Remarkable tribute to your father this shirt of you. You will continue what he learned you whileit he raised you and your made this visable in this shared shirt and blog.

  4. 4
    Kim Kramer

    Thanks so much for posting about something so private. I love that you were able to make a companion garment. The fabric is hugging both of you. I salute your father’s well lived life.

    • 7
      Susan

      A lovely tribute to your Dad. And a lovely picture of him, too. I know he will live on in your heart. Thank you for introducing him to us.

  5. 9
    Jill Ben-Dor

    I’m so sorry for your loss, Melissa, what a beautiful and moving tribute to your dad. May your memories always comfort you.

  6. 10
    Kathryn

    A lovely tribute to your Dad. I’m sorry for your loss; it’s so hard, particularly at this time, losing a loved one. Wear your shirt with love and pride in his memory. X

  7. 11
    Jane M

    Oh, Melissa, my heart aches for you and your family. I’m glad that you got to see him this winter and hope that happier memories can be some comfort. He must have been so proud of you and your talent and thoughtfulness.

  8. 12
    Jennifer

    This is such a rough time to be going through loss, no seeing far-flung family, or making last visits. But it sounds like your Dad lived such a great life, and as if you got to talk to him lots even if only over a video call instead of in person. I’m glad you were able to make him one last shirt, and make yourself a tribute shirt to remember him by.

  9. 14
    Ginger

    I’m sorry for your loss. What a lovely tribute. Your Dad sounds like an amazing man. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs.

  10. 15
    Vicki Maiorano

    So sad. Sorry to hear of your loss. It is never easy but I bet it is even harder under current situation.

  11. 16
    lauravw

    I’m so sorry you’ve lost your dad, and especially to have gone through it in the past few months without being able to travel. I love it that you were able to make him a garment to suit his own particular preferences.

  12. 19
    Renee

    You are very brave, creative and inspirational at a very trying time. I am very glad that you had the opportunity to tell each other how much you loved each other. Be kind to yourself.

  13. 23
    Katelyn

    Thank you for sharing, Melissa. What a lovely tribute. I hope that you get a chance to mourn with family and find comfort

  14. 24
    Anita Steiner

    So sorry to hear about the death of your dad. I’m glad you made him that shirt with the print and that you managed to make a companion shirt for yourself. Take care Anita from Basel

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